The Science of Feeling Grown & Sexy

Bad Blogger | How to Feel Sexy


Feeling sexy means different things to different people. For me, it’s a confidence and self-acceptance thing. I’ve never been particularly shy about my body, attributing sexiness to character traits such as humour or intelligence more so than physical attributes. I like myself, even if others might not, and therefore I regularly feel sexy. I believe that it’s a state of mind that transcends age or size because true sexiness is about owning yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. 

That being said, I have put on a bit of holiday weight over the Christmas break, happily hidden under layers of hoodies and tracksuit bottoms - because who cares about looking good when it’s so cold right? Even the thought of shaving or putting on foundation seems such a bore right now. It hasn’t really bothered me too much because I don’t assign value to myself in that way but I have started to wonder whether there is a link between how you look and how you feel? It was put to the test at the end of last year, when a photographer remarked on set, “these pictures are lovely Elvira, but we need more sexiness and attitude.” Weirdly, I was stumped. I believed I was sexy but I couldn’t remember how. Was all the time spent hibernating in front of the TV in baggy clothes blocking me from accessing my inner vixen?

Upon reflection, I have been a little sluggish lately. Winter in London is mostly grey and rainy, something we all know contributes to feelings of low-motivation and reduced energy levels but if I can’t even switch on the va-va-voom when I want to, then something is kinda off. A little digging around and I came across research confirming that how we dress can in fact have an effect on our thinking and mood.  

"I have started to wonder whether there is a link between how you look and how you feel?"

Bad Blogger | Mind What You Wear


I don’t particularly buy into the ‘look good feel good’ mentality because I feel great chilling at home in my mismatched PJs but perhaps it’s more about making the occasional, conscious effort to remind myself that I’ve still got it. I’ve noticed that if I wear loungewear all day, I feel less motivated to do any work and if I wear gym wear, I’m more likely to workout. So perhaps there is something to this look-feel correlation. It’s not everyday sexy sexy but if I never make the effort, seemingly that lackluster attitude can seep into other areas of my life. 

I guess it’s like the “if you don’t use it you lose it” concept. Like an old book hidden on a shelf, we know it’s there but if no one is reading it, it’s simply collecting dust. January can easily place us all in a bit of a rut but I’m loving the idea of exploring the little ways I can feel good about myself. It might sound silly but the smallest of details such as some lipgloss or bum rips in my jeans was just the kick I needed to bring sexy back. It’s not about showing that to anyone else but owning that for myself. Putting in that extra time to making ourselves feel badass, strong, sultry - whatever you want to call it - and practicing self-love in whatever form (exercise, eating well or dressing up) is definitely needed to keep feeling our sexiest (inside and out) during these gloomier months.